Shouts and Murmurs

A fresh start

2011-06-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

As I watched Sahiti learn to splash water in her bath this morning, I realized how far we had come from the day I had held her in the hospital for the first time. It dawned on me how I have no account of the past seven months except for my fading memory. I am busy with Sahiti during the day and tired at night. But I know now is the time to record her story before it slips out of my memory. Since my life has mostly been about Sahiti for the past seven months, I decided to start a new blog for her. Please go over to http://sahititangirala.wordpress.com/ to read more about her. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy reading about her antics as much as I enjoy writing.

The 2 or 3 people who read my blog know me offline as well and are aware of who Sahiti is. If you don't and are wondering what happened to me since my blog is still stuck in the first trimester of my pregnancy, Sahiti is the answer. She is our little girl born on the 20th of October 2010 at 1.46pm. Go over to the new space for more on her.

The pregnancy update

2010-05-14T15:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a quick update on how the pregnancy is progressing so far:

At 17 weeks and 4 days, I finally feel like I have my energy back. I do have the occasional bouts of laziness but none of that dead tired feeling every morning.
My biggest concern has been my weight. For the first time ever, I am worried about not gaining enough weight. Pregnancy guides tell me I should have gained at least 4-5 pounds by now, but I have not registered even a a single additional pound on that scale, yet.
It seems like I have developed some kind of photophobia. Every time I step outside into bright sunlight, I have a brain splitting headache.
I do not have a noticeable baby bump. I am still at that, "is she pregnant or just fat" stage.
My boobs have quit being the bitches they were for the past couple of months. And I must say I am enjoying the extra cleavage :)
Everyday, the first thing I do when I wake up is rub my belly to see if I can feel that firmness in my lower abdomen, which I think is my womb.
My mom asks me every other day if I felt the baby move yet. Honestly, I have no idea. I don't know what to look out for. I probably felt the baby move but did not know it was the baby.
I am waiting for the genetic screening test results to come back. I hope the results are nothing bad and that our baby is safe and healthy.
We have the option of finding the gender of the baby in two weeks. So far we want to find out to be better prepared. Part of me also wants that huge Surprise.

On a side note, it was such an eventful week for us. JG got a fantastic job offer. He actually had two job offers and he made a decision yesterday after a lot of drama and bollywood style twists. In the end, he thinks he made a very bold and risky choice, something that he believes he would love in the future. I really hope he is right. Also, we just finished booking a trip to Toronto. It was a work trip for JG, to give an invited lecture, which I tagged along and converted into a 5 day vacation. Apparently, a vacation while expecting a baby is called BabyMoon. Who knew! I am super excited about the trip and can't wait for the last week of May to get here soon enough.

How I met your father....

2010-05-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

My dearest Baby Gult,

It has been 6 years since I met JG, your daddy-to be and I figured, if you've got any of my genes, you would be curious as a cat to find out how your parents met each other. So here is the story.

Like any other respectable couple, we began our relationship being "just good friends". It was August 2003 and I just started grad school as a wide eyed and home sick twenty something. And JG, he was new in town too, but he had the experience of negotiating through coursework, research work, managing to have a life outside the lab and other such fun things you get to do in graduate school. Also, he just got himself a shiny new car. So overall, JG was the decent guy material that good girls were expected to hang out with. The first few months, we were really just friends. You know, meeting for the occasional coffees, lunches and dinners. A semester ended and the brutal winter began. No, no, the cold and the snow did not make me horny; the winter just made me lonelier and more home sick than ever.

I had trouble waking up in the mornings for my 8am class, navigating my way through piles of snow to and from school and a terrible time cooking for myself and being alone in the apartment. Somehow, JG always came to my rescue. He would give me a wake up call every single day (I know, alarm clocks were invented by then), he picked me up from school when I had to stay back late finishing stuff and made Maggi for me when there was no food in my refrigerator. By the end of the winter, we were spending more time with each other than away.

One beautiful Spring evening, we decided to go to a nearby pond for a walk. Sometime during the walk, we instinctively held hands, like it was the most natural thing to do. And it got me thinking about us, about where all of this was going and such. We decided to meet after dinner to watch TV together (didn't I tell you we were spending a lot of time together, besides, there was no TV in my apartment). Sometime during a commercial break (yes, even life changing moments need to wait for commercial breaks) in an episode of Law and Order, I asked him where all of this was going and what it meant. Without missing a beat he told me that he thought the world of me and would like for nothing to change between us. Ok, honestly, I don't remember the exact words, but I guess the feeling is more important, right? I was not expecting this confession and was taken aback. I promptly left saying I needed some time to think about it.

Come weekend, JG invited me to go on drive to the nearby mountains and spend the day with him. After driving for about an hour, we reached a beautiful place in the Berkshires with winding roads, a little river flowing next to the road, lush green trees and bright sunshine. Of course, there were also ugly naked people sun bathing, but we chose to ignore them. We parked the car and took a walk along the river on wet pebbles. We finally settled down on a huge rock. The sound of slow flowing water and the serenity of the place,suddenly made everything clear. I realized that next to him was my favorite place to be then and forever. And I gathered the courage to tell him just that. What followed was a confessional about our past and quick agreement on what we expect from the future. And just like that, on May 1st 2004, we moved a step ahead from being good friends to a couple. The rest as they say is history and a story for another day.

Lots of love

Your Amma-to be, who cannot wait to hold you.

My dearest JG, Congrats for sticking around with me for 6 years! It was been a super fun ride so far and I look forward to the many many more turns on this roller coaster by your side. Love, NM.

I have been diagnosed....

2010-04-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

...with the Egyptian flu.

Yes, yes, yes my dearest dearies, I am going to be a MUMMY in less than six months!!!

The news came as a surprise to me one Monday morning. The Saturday before that, John Gult (JG) and I went on a moderately strenous hike and I could barely move a muscle next day. Come Monday, I still had a funny feeling in my stomach and suddenly out of nowhere, I decided to take a pregnancy test. The next thing I know, I was bawling my eyes out in the bathroom. You know how all your life you dream of something but when the moment of truth comes, you are so unprepared for it , you are left clueless? That is kind of what happened to me.

We weren't actively in the baby making business, but we were aware we that were not doing anything to not make a baby either. Also, at some level, both JG and I had a feeling that it would never happen to us; don't ask me why. It took a couple of more tests, a visit to the doctor's office and a few weeks for the news to slowly sink in. To be honest, we are both still scared of what is going to happen and we doubt our parenting abilities everyday. But for now, we have decided to sit back and enjoy the ride and wait for a certain little person to teach us everything!

I have known this news for about 2 months now and it took me so long to come to terms with the idea completely and to gather the courage to post it here; especially since I have been MIA for the past so many months. I discontinued blogging because a few of my real-life friends found me online and had discussed the blog with me offline, which made me self-conscious and re-evaluate every sentence I typed out here. But now that I am going through this incredible experience, I wanted to make a record of it, irrespective of the audience. Besides, we all know mommy bloggers are the most popular kind!

So all you parents, bring on your wisdom. And the yet-to be parents, please pray that I don't turn into one of those obsessive pregnant women who refuse to talk about anything but their pregnancy. And of course, any baby name suggestions you may have will be greatly appreciated.

A how-to guide...

2009-07-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

...to love Anurag Kashyap's movies.

Read as much about the movie before watching it as possible. You want to know all the character names, motives and metaphors beforehand. Preferably, straight from the horse's mouth.
Make sure to watch the movie with plenty of lights on. If you are watching at a cinema, request the manager to keep the lights on. If you catch the movie at home, make sure you have all your windows open and/or lights on.
Get yourself something to drink. Not those sodas or juices. I mean the real stuff. You will need at least a couple of shots of espresso to keep yourself awake through the movie.
Glue your eyelids to your eyebrows. When watching Anurag Kashyap, you cannot afford to blink.
When possible keep the closed captions turned on. Of course, keep the volume as high as you can possibly manage.
After all of this, chances are you might not have really understood the movie. Now go back and repeat steps 1 to 5 a few more times to actually "get" the movie. And once you do, you are bound to love the movie.
Now head over to one of those IMDB discussion boards to compare your interpretation against everyone else's.
Oh, and throughout the process, dont forget to enjoy the superb music.

Caption this

2009-06-24T21:07:00.005-07:00

Picture courtesy: High Heel Confidential

My take

Saif: "Nice rack baby!"
Kareena: "Really? And what do you think of stuff downstairs?"

Go ahead peeps, let your imagination run wild. As you can see, you cannot get any lower (no pun here) than mine, the caption that is.

Tag hour

2009-06-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

Picked up this nosey questions tag from La Vida Loca.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
God! Another pimple.

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
$26 and some loose change that I am lazy to count.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Bore?

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
A certain someone called "Kittu".

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Not really a favorite, but right now, its Rock On music.

6. What are you wearing right now?
Pajamas.

7. Do you label yourself?
Not really. What would you call a mildly obsessive woman who insists having her way and then gives up the instant she likes something better?

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
Does the department store brand count?

9.Bright or Dark Room?
Bright rooms. Dark rooms depress me (read scare me).

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She is one kick-ass girl who is as much fun in person as on her blog.

11. What does your watch look like?
Not wearing one right now, but have a beige strapped watch with a gold rim and ivory dial studded with diamonds. Real ivory, real diamonds, 22k gold and genuine leather, the generous sales associate told me. He was also nice enough to sell it to me just for peanuts!

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"This is an automatic test message generated by the emergency response system".

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
There is no one bloody word I say a lot, bloody!

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Umm....one of John Gult's friends. He said, "you guys don't call me as often but I still love you both". So sweet na!

16. Last furry thing you touched?
Swiffer duster.

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
Early teens. Loved high school absolutely. Wonderful friends, first crushes and of course a much fitter body.

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Talk to you later".

19.The last song you listened to?
Dhol yaara dhol from Dev D.

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Hyderabad, India.

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Actually of a few people and I am really hoping it will go away once I get what they have.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Not sure.

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Clothes (obviously!), something to tie my hair and of course my unpredictable mood.

24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Visakhapatnam. The city brings back wonderful memories.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Not sure if this was the last one, but recently found one I wrote to John Gult in sudh hindi that too.

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
In theory yes, but never tried.

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That he married his first cousin, that too out of choice. No dying grandparents involved. How weird!

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No, but my wrist bothers me a little.

29.What is your current desktop picture?
Nothing. I very strongly believe desktop pictures led my computer to crash last summer.

30. Have you been burnt by love?
No, just bitten.

More on what’s happening at the John Gult and Never Mind household

2009-03-14T12:00:00.002-07:00

At work, a few weeks ago, they laid off about 10% of the workforce. I know it's not news anymore but it still came as a surprise because at the beginning of the year, they talked about how well we did in 2008 and how we have enough money to last through the rough times. Apparently, people got the pink slips was because the top bosses were being “proactive” about the bad economy. But, like all those big banks, everyone who is still here gets that big fat bonus. People at work were super pissed with the layoffs. As an intern, I didn't feel strongly one way or the other, but it made me think hard if this is a company that I want to stay with for life and make a career at. Especially, if they don’t think twice about letting people go whenever there is a potential road block. Anyway, as a result of this “re-structuring”, things have gotten super busy. And it does not help to have a manager who works 15 hrs a days and is twice as smart as you. So I spend most days and some nights trying to play catch-up with him and end up feeling like a loser.

At home, things have been fairly smooth. We have given up the high hopes of keeping the house neat and tidy at all times, cooking fresh food for every meal and such. Now we are happy if there is frozen food or leftovers from last night for dinner and laundered clothes to wear. We clean the house over the weekends; that is if you count putting things back in their place as cleaning.

Very recently, I realized that between January 1^st and March 15^th, there is a birthday or an anniversary every other week in the family. So I decided to make sure that our future child’s birthday does not get lost in the jungle. Jan, Feb and March are ruled out. Nov is out for similar reasons. December is al already expensive month with all the Chritmas traveling. It’s too hot to be born between May and Aug. Besides, the kids would hate us because most schools are closed for the summer and they would have no friends around to celebrate with. That leaves me with Apr, Sep and Oct. MIL’s birthday is in Sep and FIL’s is in Oct. Going by my rule of not having a kid in the month when someone in the family has birthday, I am left with a narrow window of just 30 days in April! Awesome! Now its the perfect excuse to give to all those nosy aunty types who want to know if there is any “special news”. It would be super cool to say, “Sorry aunty, I missed the window for this year, but wish me luck for next!” Sorry people, I did not mean to actually type these things out and bore you to death. As you can tell, I do not have anything intelligent to say!

Speaking of kids, one of my bestest friends is preggers. I would have been a lot more enthusiastic about it, if not for the way I came to know of the news. To me, she is the kind of friend you would call, when you even consider the thought of having babies. She called to wish us on our anniversary and adds as an afterthought that she is 12 weeks pregnant, that too after telling half of the people we know in common. I was genuinely happy for her, but could not help feeling bad and left out. Of course, I played along with her not wanting to hurt her during her special time. Oh wait, may be I did. She sometimes reads this blog. But I really hope her pregnancy goes well and they have a healthy baby.

In other news, you remember my brother who was going to travel to the US to take his medical licensing exam? Ya, that one. He is traveling to the US this year to take the same exam. He will be staying with us for 4 months through the summer. I am super excited about his trip. And of course, I can’t wait for all the goodies my parents are sending with him.

With that, we come to the end of today’s edition. You all take care and I will be back with more news and updates soon, hopefully sooner than another 3 months!

Where have we been...?

2009-03-11T08:33:00.005-07:00

...At the intersection of writer's block and don't-have-anything-to-say, being incredibly lazy in a busymobile.

Excuse #1: Hour-long commutes and overachieving coworkers leave us with little time and/or self-respect to write anything.
Excuse #2: My theory that weekend hours are only half the duration of weekday hours is proving to be true.
Excuse #3: Every time I/we start a post, I/we realize halfway that others have said it all already.

Thanks all, for checking on us regularly. Regular programming might start here if something interesting comes up.

Its that time of the year!!!

2009-01-16T21:00:00.000-08:00

Since all you lovely people lurve me so much :D, I have decided to treat you guys to a little puzzle.

The first four prime numbers add up to the day I was born. If you have figured the date out and are wondering about the month, I say it doesn't matter. Day of the year and calender date are all the same. If you have figured out, you know when to wear your party hats and sing the birthday song!

The weight of expectation (guest post, part 2)

2009-01-10T11:27:00.016-08:00

I wasn't too impressed with the Grand Canyon.
There, I said it.
Sorry...

I had way more fun in Death Valley, and I put it down to the spontaneity of our trip there.

Expectation is a killer. Expectation is why a 30 by Harbhajan is thrilling but a 30 by Sachin empties the grounds. It’s why Surya’s Ghajini feels like a routine run-of-the-mill masala movie, but Aamir Khan’s Ghajini feels like a disaster, a terrible start to the year (if this were the script of a Ghajini-like movie, I’d give you about seventeen more examples like this, including, in no particular order, a crying baby, sunshine after rain and blooming flowers).

Anyway, to come back to the point of this post, when we started planning this trip, it centered on three focal points: LA, Las Vegas and Grand Canyon. And invariably, the places we enjoyed most were then ones we did not have concrete plans for. But let me try to be at least partially chronological here.

- Rancho La Brea is a little gem tucked away among the high-rises of Los Angeles. I wonder how many tourists in LA even know about this place?

- Las Vegas has been one of the epicenters of the housing market collapse, and boy, does it show! Vegas stretches out in all directions into the desert, with seemingly no reason for people to live there. There’s way too many housing complexes and accompanying strip malls than seem sustainable, they all look new (and quite good), and most of them look empty. Abandoned before being occupied? Maybe. I don't know, but it's bizarre.

- You don't hear much about downtown Las Vegas (no, it's not the same as the Strip), but it's fun. Downtown lacks the mega-resorts that you see on the Strip (MGM, Venetian, etc etc), but there's this enclosed area on Fremont St that reminded me of Bourbon street in New Orleans. It was cold, but free concerts, easily available drinks access to many hotel/casinos and the huge screen more than made up for it.

- Speaking of the Strip, did know how LONG it is? Looking on a map, Caesar's Palace is perhaps one block from the Bellagio, but it takes a good 7-8 minutes to walk the distance. It's fun to roam around on the Strip though. I didn't think I would like Vegas - thought it wouldn't be anything more than a pimped-out Times Square. And though it is indeed a pimped-out Times Square, there's lots of things to do, and varied "sceneries" and "skylines" to see, so it's all good. Felt a little bad for the Latino dudes standing at the street corners, advertising/offering hookers to passers-by, with most guys trying to glance from the corners of their eyes without looking too interested.

- I had noticed this in Atlantic City, and was convinced of it in Vegas. Chinese people, especially older folks, are mad about gambling! Vegas, with no history of immigration from Asia, has a Chinatown, and tour bus companies abound, ferrying people from Vegas for day trips. Sort of explains the rise of Macau, no?

- Red Rock Canyon is a short drive from Las Vegas, and it’s apt that it has that singular in its name. We only ever saw one red rock (okay, hill for you quibblers) there, and the rest of the 13-mile drive was “routine” mountains and desert. Nice place, but not the highlight of the trip. That, my friends, would be...

- ...Death Valley!!! Places like this remind one that humans may build the mightiest cities, but these are no match for the beauty of nature. Death Valley is a bleak place, the hottest, driest and lowest point in North America. That turned out very nicely for us, because the low elevation meant it was warmer (ok, less colder) than the other places we went to. Hiking in Death Valley was not so difficult, but it was amazing how few people there were on the trails (and almost no one away from the trails). It is such a pleasing experience when the only sound you can hear is the crunch of the long-dried-out river bed under your feet. The Sound of Silence, you say?

- Driving to and from Death Valley gave us a glimpse of the US that we aren't used to. There are no big green signs telling you 10 miles in advance to take an exit. You take a state route, watch for a nondescript turn, drive over potholed roads. Very much like rural India. Some of those towns have a real frontier feel to them. You wouldn’t want to venture past these towns at night and/or in the summer without stocking up on supplies and survival gear.

- Zion National Park was the most spur-of-the-moment we made, and it was only because we didn't think we had it in us to drive to Bryce Canyon and back in one day. But again, it was awesome. The red colored road along the Zion Canyon floor matches the red sandstone cliffs towering on both sides. Zion seemed like a summer destination with streams and much greenery, but I'm glad we went there in the winter. Some of the trails were closed due to icy conditions, but this is a spectacularly beautiful place. I’m amazed by how varied the geography of the American West is. All you East Coast folks, do yourself a favor and head west for a vacation.

- Which brings us to our final destination. We parked the car 50 feet from the South Rim, made our way to the edge through throngs of people, and peered into the great big hole for a few minutes, too embarrassed to admit to each other that what was supposed to be the grand finale of the trip was a bit underwhelming. To be fair, Grand Canyon is indeed stunning, but when you’ve been bracing yourself for the stun for so long, the stunt gets a bit, well, stunted. Yes, I know we should’ve hiked at least some distance into the canyon, but it was icy and time was a bit tight. Also, all sources said the park would be empty in the winter, but we found it to be a zoo, with a thousand cars and a dozen tour buses (incidentally, what’s with Chinese/Japanese/Korean people and tour groups/buses? Ever seen a desi tour bus in the US?) If this is the scene in winter, I shudder to think how it must be in the summer!

- If you’re a National Park aficionado (like me), it’s a great idea to get the annual pass. It saved us at least 30 minutes, getting into Grand Canyon past the long line of cars and buses.

- Finally, this trip takes both NM's and my (US) state-count to/past 25. Woo-hoo!

And that, boys and girls, ends this travelogue. I'm glad I wrote this up before my memory got erased. Regular programming will restart soon from Never Mind (I hope...).

Road Trippin' the South-west.....(Guest post, part 1)

2009-01-05T22:16:00.003-08:00

Happy New Year and all that jazz, people. Never Mind has lost her mind, and is down with writer’s block (yes, again). I’m the one referred to in these pages as the “the husband”. Going by my origins, you can call me John Gult :) This is my first blog post of any kind, so I hope I don’t cost her too many readers…

NM and I took a road trip last week. 2563 miles in all, across four states, over seven days. We had planned to do a day-by-day posting on this blog, but two things happened. One, apparently Priceline does not check if your would-be hotel has free wi-fi, and two, we got a bit shamed sitting around in the parking lots of coffee shops, searching for wi-fi signals to steal. I’m still going to pretend we’re doing a day-to-day posting though, and give you more wisdom about our trip than you care for. Pliss to excuse.

Here are some of the points that stuck in my head about our trip:

-You would think a driving time of nine hours from the Bay Area to LA, with an average speed of 25 mph for half the time, would mean a sucky day. Well, not when you are driving through the Big Sur. This region, with surprisingly little traffic, is spectacular, and the road, sandwiched between mountains and the Pacific has to be one of the prettiest drives I’ve ever taken. Supposedly, you can see whales while driving the road too. Methinks someone must’ve forgotten to notify the fishies that we were coming…

- Some dudes on the California coast have a lot of money, I tell you. How else do you explain these zebras grazing in a ranch a hundred meters from the ocean?

- Los Osos and Cayucos must be among the prettiest towns in the US. Actually looked like tropical resort towns, with bright multicolored houses fronting beautiful beaches.

-San Bernardino county, and California in general, are HUGE. Driving out of LA towards Las Vegas brings you across an amazing array of environments. From a coastal city full of beaches to snow-capped mountains to arid desert, all within an hour’s drive (well okay, considering LA’s traffic, three hours).

- There’s quite a few solar power plants (thermal, PV) in the Mojave desert of CA/AZ/NV. If only we could get either the price of silicon down, or the efficiency of other technologies higher…

- I’m still trying to figure out what exactly made us spend 50 bucks in Hollywood to go gawk at the homes of celebrities and movie stars for two hours. It was a sobering day for the Santa-costumed driver too, with 90% of his jokes and celebrity gossip fizzling out, what with 15 desis (coincidence, I may add), 2 Chinese and no Americans in his van. On the same note, it must’ve been a pretty low-tip day for him too ☺

- For a famous landmark, the Hollywood sign is visible from very few places. Yeah it's cheesy, but, c'mon of course we had to take pics with it.

- Christmas morning, guy walking on water. Wonder if he was the Big J…? (NM’s joke originally. Just so I don’t get accused of plagiarism…)

- Turns out there is indeed such a thing as too much free non-stop porn on TV. Add in a rat hole of a hotel room, torn threadbare towels and a non-functioning heater, and you have a contender for the worst hotel stay ever. This was self-inflicted pain though. I know we should’ve waited longer in that coffee shop parking lot for a reply from priceline, instead of rushing to the nearest hole-in-the-wall.

Ok, I get a feeling that's enough gyaan for today. If I don't scare off too many readers from here, I will post more details tomorrow (or whenever). Take care, people.

Remembering Bhopal

2008-12-03T10:11:00.004-08:00

Remembering the Bhopal Gas Tragedy that left thousands dead and many many more injured. And some of them paying the price even after 24 years!

I was barely two when this disaster happened. But I had chose to write a review paper on it earlier this year for a class I was taking and thats when I knew details about the event. Even just reading papers about the disaster and the effects it had on Bhopal has made my stomach churn. After 14 years, we can only hope the new Dow chemicals plant in Pune is not another Bhopal waiting to happen.

Here is a link to some pictures immediately after the disaster. It also includes Raghu Rai's award winning photograph.

Update: Thanks bollyviewer for the correction. I dont know how 2008-1984 was 14 anyways!

Your God or Mine?

2008-12-02T20:23:00.002-08:00

I wish the recent terror attacks are linked to radical muslims trained in Pakistan. Yes, I said it. For all of us who spent Wednesday to Saturday of last week glued to one news channel or the other, it does not seem a very unreasonable wish. After all, the terrorists came to the coast in boats, carried Pakistani IDs and all other such evidence that points to Pakistan. And like any self respecting Indian, I was quick to add that if it is indeed true, then India should attack the terrorist camps and use nuclear weapons if necessary.

Sometime during the course of the 60-hr drama in Mumbai, I checked Al-Jazeera’s website to see what they were saying about the attacks. To my utter disgust, they reported that the attack could be the act of India’s internal terrorist organizations while India blamed Pakistan in a knee jerk reaction. I yelled some at my computer screen, made some expletive noises about how there are no “internal elements” in India and gave up reading news for about an hour. Today, in an email conversation with a friend, in a fit of anger, I declared that all the Muslims in the world should be treated like terrorists unless proven innocent! (I hope you recognize the emotional rhetoric here). My friend immediately asked what makes me so sure that this was perpetrated by “the outsider” Muslims and not our own homegrown rogue elements like Bajrang Dal. I made some noises about how the radical Hindu organizations are not that indiscriminate and immediately changed the topic.

To me and millions like me in India who enjoy the luxury of being in the majority, it is comforting to blame “the outsider” as the enemy. I wonder if the entire terrorist attack episode would have been as sensational if it weren’t for the Pakistani angle in it. Aren’t we all waiting to hear that the FBI and Scotland Yard aided investigations will provide conclusive evidence against ISI?

Once I started reading more about the possibility that the attack might not necessarily be from outside India, I am scared than ever.

Being a Muslim in India is not easy. Most of us who belong to the majority, take this struggle for granted. We never stop to think how it is to live in India as a muslim. I do not have specific examples to cite but we all have heard stories about the muslim family that was refused an apartment in the building or the muslim household that struggled find domestic help etc. I am willing to believe that years of such oppression could have resulted in absolute hatred and intolerance towards the rest of us. That coupled with a country jealous of our progress (?), Kashmir issue, ties with US etc etc could explain the Pakistani trained terrorists’ theory.

But what if it wasn’t the muslims? What if it was our own Bajrang Dal that moved up the terrorism ladder? What excuse do they have apart from sheer intolerance to another faith? That is what scares me.

Like always, someone else has said all of this much better.

http://www.samarmagazine.org/archive/article.php?id=275

PS: Please excuse me if in any way I have conveyed that it is okay for people from one religion to kill. Obviously that is not what I have tried here.

And I am back!

2008-12-01T20:17:00.005-08:00

Howdy y’all? Thanks for all the concerned comments and encouragement to write more frequently. Well guess what? I have taken your comments way too seriously. To compensate for the last 3 months or so of zero activity, I have taken up La Vida’s recommendation of a blog marathon. I will make a sincere attempt to post at least once every day whether or not I have something ~~coherent~~ important to say. It will be a challenge given that I commute about an hour and a half to work each way and am left with zero enthu to do anything once I get home. But, you asked for it people! So here we go.

So how have you all been? I have most of you on feed reader and have been reading your blogs stealthily at work while swiftly shifting between windows every time I hear footsteps (Thank God for keyboard shortcuts!). I haven’t been commenting much because I haven’t yet gathered the courage to log in to blogger from work. Any of you have cool tips on how to blog/comment while appearing to be busy at your desk? About us, the husband and I have quit being floating particles and have settled down fairly well in the Bay area (couldn’t resist the PJ). I flew across the country in September to see the husband talk about his work, thank his mentors, parents and parents-in-law, and bottoming-up 6 glasses of Champagne back to back. Needless to say he has no memory of what happened to him after that. Not that anything really happened, except that he was made to wear a really ridiculous looking hat and paraded around the campus in a shopping cart by his group members. And that was how a very innocent looking, baby-faced husband became The Husband Pee Etch Dee. After a week, the husband wrapped up in the University town and moved to California with me. So that was our September.

Most of October was spent trying to figure out what we will need to run an functional house, where to buy such stuff, buying the stuff and setting up the apartment. Now don’t let this simple statement trick you into believing that it is easy to set up an apartment from scratch. Actually buying the essential stuff is easy. You go to a department store and pick up a toaster, a microwave oven, a vacuum cleaner etc. The tough part is furnishing and decoration. In the process of furnishing our apartment, the husband and I became an IKEA couple like Broom once described. We were fighting about the fabric, color, design, pattern, size and you-name-it. If we agreed on everything, the damned thing was out of our budget. After numerous stressful trips to IKEA, Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, Linens n Things and such, we managed to put together a decent looking place. At the end of it, the effort seemed worthwhile when we sunk into the couch in our newly furnished living room sipping a glass of wine.

November has been a super fun month. We went to Napa/Sonoma valley to celebrate the husband’s birthday. We stayed at a little spa resort, got couple massages, had great wine and a lot more :) Before we could completely get back to routine, it was Thanksgiving and we had to do something fun again. We spent the weekend in Lake Tahoe and Reno. There wasnt much snow there for skiing but we manged to skate on ice and hike in the snow. Also did I mention that I met a super cool and lovely blogger in November? She is as interesting in person as she is on her blog if not more. She does have a great smile, she does wear her lipstick well, and she does have an amazing sense of humor. It was so much fun to meet her that I forgot about the sucking day I had that day. Wait, since this is a marathon and not a sprint, I will save up the details of that day for another post.

So overall, we have been exploring the Bay area and now let me please pause for a second to eat my words. Bay area is fun!! I did not like it in the first few days of moving here because I was alone, home sick and had to deal with giant humongous lizards which I knew were out there to get me. I have not seen those despicable monsters anywhere else except around the cafeteria at work (maybe they guard all the free food in the cafeteria). Mostly I love the Bay area because of the number of options it has for people to have fun. You like clubbing and night life? You have it. Want some quiet time at the beach? You have it. Want a good hike? You have it. OK you get the drift. That’s pretty much been my September, October and November in a nut shell. Eating good food, going out, having fun and in general having good time in life.

Of this,that and award

2008-09-03T17:51:00.002-07:00

Guess what Never Mind is up to?

I had an internship offer in the pipeline for a while now but it took so long for me to get over all the irritating hassles to finally get here that I can barely believe this is happening to me. I got the offer in November last year for a scheduled start in June '08. I asked my then PhD adviser if I could take up this offer as a supplement to my work in his lab. He refused to let me go and was of the opinion that industries have nothing new to offer to the academia. I later decided to quit the lab owing to many other reasons and thought I could pursue this internship while I find something else to do. Just about 2 weeks before my start date, I found out that the university did not allow students to go and work and I couldn't work without being a student. Unable to solve the paradox, I postponed my start date to Sept '08. I went through the employment authorization process once again with the hope that this time, I use the correct channel. I was denied authorization again. That was when I decided to chuck everything and move-in with the husband. On hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. We had so much fun living together in our first apartment, it was magical. OK, I digress. Getting back to where we were, I transferred Universities and applied for employment authorization for a third time. A lot of drama, a few tearful goodbyes to my career and several tensed days later, I got my approval and and I finally started working yesterday. This is just an internship position for 4 months but is totally what I wanted to do. Also it pays well enough to have enough money left for those shoes and purses after paying all the bills. So I am super excited. Excited about the work, the money,everything.

I moved to California this Sunday and am slowly getting used to being a Californian. It is not as beautiful as everyone hyped but it seems like a fairly nice place to live in. California lost part of its charm for me because of its lizards. Did I ever mention how much I hate them? Actually, I am terrified of them. Yesterday when I walking back from lunch, I saw three lizards in the walkway for the first time in the US and I was scared beyond wits. Since then, I kept checking my surroundings to make sure there weren't any more of those horrible creatures. And now, the great part, the husband got a job in California as well and he will graduate from school and start here in October. So it looks like we have some fun times coming up. But I promise, no more excuses for not blogging. I will resume regular blogging and update this place as often as possible.

To make the happy times more exciting, the lovely La Vida has honored me with the blogger BFF award. This award is special not just because it is my first but also because it means a lot to be a friend. I have very few BFFs in real life and blogging has introduced me to some great people who I wouldnt have met otherwise. While accepting the award with great pride, I pass it on to my blogger BFFs.

La Vida Loca : It has to come right back to you for the warmth you sent my way and of course your fun posts. Her dry humor and profession remind me so much of Mathew Petry in The Whole Nine Yards.
Dew Drop Dream: She once asked what we thought of her as a person. I never had a chance to write then. But I think she is a lovely lady with a great "Office"-ish sense of humor, treasures her friends, buys great gifts and a truly unique person in that she is loved right back by earthworms!
SnippetsnScribbles: Very simple words that touch your heart, every day happenings that make you laugh and Profound thoughts on love, life and marriage. Thats SnippetsnScribbles for you.
Chandni: Bohemian Rhapsody has been and continues to be a great place for me to hang out. Lots of fun, interesting tidbits from Chandu land, 55s and heartfelt posts make Chandni more than eligible for this award.

Enjoy ladies! You have truly made blogging a lot of fun for me!

How Bollywood achieved gender equality

2008-08-16T10:36:00.018-07:00

In an attempt to achieve gender equality in apna filmdom, it has been reported that all our bollywood leading men have been advised of the following fashion guidelines.

You will henceforth wax your chest hair and show as much cleavage (if not more) as your heroines. You will of course take full advantage of the one thing you can do in a family movie that your heroines cannot. Go topless! While our Sallu miyan has been the trend setter here, strict warnings have been issued to a certain Kapoor to clean up his act. Here are some illustrative examples.

Good

Better

Best

Waxing does not stop with chest hair. You will use the sticky goo until you achieve silky smooth legs comparable to your female leads. Once achieved, those fine legs can be displayed on screen while wearing bottoms of variable lengths.

Good

Better (note: this image also shows how not to cover your legs)

Best

You will style your hair to match that of your female co-stars. This will not only help both hero and heroine look alike but also make life so much easier for hair dressers. We understand this will be a difficult rule to follow but have seen ~~boys~~ men who made it happen.

Perfect !

You will insist that your director will have at least one song shot on you right after you finish taking a shower and one right after you finish swimming. This has previously been the domain of the lady stars but we have had brave men who have taken up and performed the feats as convincingly as any of those lovely ladies.

You will follow a daily cleansing routine comparable to that of the reigning beauty queens. We appreciate his highness Baadshah Khan for setting up a regimen suitable for all you Bollywood stars.

You will not be afraid of wearing pink or animal prints like those lovely ladies. Remember, real men wear pink, surreal men wear cheetah prints! Fashion police Payal and Priyanka have shown how animal prints can help you communicate with your ex even while your wife is around.

In related news, budding star Riteieiesssh Deshmuuukkkkh has mentioned to a new talk show host that these new fashion rules have helped him get in touch with his feminine side. He was relieved at not having to wear drag ever again.

Happy Rakshabandhan

2008-08-16T08:37:00.003-07:00

To the two men...

...who holding my hand walked me through every difficult moment of my life.

...who have answered my phone calls day or night and heard all my rants patiently.

...who always covered up for me when I got myself into silly troubles.

...who kicked my behind when I got complacent.

...who have been a part of all those funny childhood stories.

...who have promised to never make me feel alone.

Happy Raksha bandhan to my two wonderful brothers who mean so much to me!!

Two weddings and a lovely couple

2008-08-11T14:45:00.005-07:00

First things first. I need to apologize for the disappearing act. I was away from here because of a combination of travel and laziness. Thanks Dew and Snippets for stopping by to check if everything was alright with me. I was away for the past few days to be a part of a very special wedding. Read on for the details.

The Girl: The eldest of the siblings from a sleepy little town in mid western United States. In addition to being good at school, she was very crafty and took up a lot of artsy projects like sewing, glass staining and knitting. She was a great cook and baked the sweetest of the cakes. In essence she was the kind of girl you wanted to take home to your parents.

The Boy: Eldest of the siblings from one of the IIT-ians churning south Indian city. True to his city's fame, he did well in school, went to IIT, got admitted to a good American University and all that jazz. He looked good, had a lovely personality and was quite charming. In short he was our typical Bollywood chocolate boy.

Boy met girl, they started going out pretty soon. Intially they had a lot of fun like every couple does during the honeymoon period. Then their first big test came up. The boy had to meet the girl's family. He went over, met her family and they all seemed to like him. It was then time for her to meet his family. His parents disapproved of her without even meeting her. Obviously, he was ruining their conservative brahmin family values. Knowing about the boy's parents rejection, the girl's parents decided they dont like the boy either. After a lot of persuasion from the boy and the girl, the parents decided to meet each other. Both set of parents met, quarrelled some about whose culture was great, argued about how their grandchildren need to be raised and quarrelled some more about remotely related issues like toilet paper, silk, gold and fastfood. Finally, the parents believed they managed to break off the relationship.

But in true filmy style, after a couple of months of keeping quiet and pretending to have moved on in life, the boy and the girl got back together. They moved to a neutral country in Europe away from both sets of parents and informed them of their decision to get married. The parents had to give in and approve of their relationship. Now, a fresh batch of quarrels broke out about how and where the wedding has to happen. This time, the boy and the girl found an easy way out. They traveled to India and got married in the traditional south Indian Hindu style. The boy's parents were happy. They went back to the US and had a Christian wedding ceremony. The girl's parents were happy too.
I know they are not the first inter-racial couple. I also know their struggles will not end here. Besides the usual hassles of married life, they will have to bear the additional burden of integrating two different cultures in their home, teaching their children about two different religions and living up to the wedding vows they exchanged twice in two different languages. But knowing what I know about them, I think they will do just fine. Please join me to wish my brother and sister-in-law a lifetime of health, happiness, love and courage.

The Palace of Illusions

2008-07-20T14:49:00.003-07:00

I was introduced to Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's Sister of my Heart by one of my guy friends. He did not care too much for that book and mentioned he was in some way related to the author and got an autographed copy of the book from her. It was in fact intriguing to find this book amidst his sci-fi and Michael Crichton collection, which I didn't care too much for. I borrowed (and did not return) the book and I am glad I did. I loved the book and read a lot more of Divakaruni.

Divakaruni's latest, The Palace of Illusions tells the time-tested story of Kauravas and Pandavas, their parents, their siblings, their wives and rest of their kin. Unlike the B R Chopra version narrated by Samay or the original version narrated by Vaishampayana, in this book, the story of Mahabharata is retold by Draupadi or Panchaali as she preferred to be called. Like they say, there are two sides to every story and it is very interesting to hear Draupadi's version, presumably the female lead in a story full of men.

As the narrator, Draupadi takes us along in her journey of life beginning from her father's palace where she grew up feeling lonely except for the friendly conversations with her brother Dhrishtadhyumna and the occasional visit from Krishna that she looked forward to with excitement. She reveals her intimate thoughts before and during her Swayamvara and her life afterwards with the Pandavas. Her struggles as a newly married, that too to five men, her reign as the queen in the palace of illusions built by the best architect, the biggest insult of her life, her life in the forests, everything, narrated by the character herself, remind the readers that despite the eons passed since then, nothing much has really changed for women. We still have the same power struggle with the overly possessive Mother-in-law, we still look up to our men to fight for our honor and we still keep wondering if we picked the right man!

Although the story is nothing new, the author inserted interesting tidbits, making the book a delicious read. The secret love shared by Draupadi and Karna for each other and the way each of the Pandavas loved Draupadi, are such little pieces that don't really alter the story, but justify each of the characters' motivation for behaving the way they did. Despite narrating a story set long before the civilization as we know today existed, the contemporary language with a generous dose of humor and irony makes the characters all very real. Here is an example of Divakaruni's wit as she describes Draupadi's fears of being cursed by sage Durvasa:

Durvasa was known for his creative curses. No doubt Duryodhan had sent him here hoping he would would burden us with some obscure, incurable disease or metamorphose us into exotic fauna.

To reflect the wisdom of her characters, Divakaruni also has some very thought-provoking lines which we sure could use in our current war-ridden world. The irony in Duryodhan's words after being defeated in Kurukshetra made me wonder what the real meaning of winning is!

I am going to heaven to enjoy all its pleasures with my friends. You will rule a kingdom peopled with widows and orphans and wake each morning to the grief of loss. Who is the real winner, then, and who the loser?

Being raised on a weekly dose of Mahabharata on TV, the story is one of my favorites. The book narrates the events in a non-spiritual context, reveals the complexities of their actions and judges the characters to human standards. And this is what made it real interesting to me. Besides, the cynicism in Draupadi's tone is something that I completely identified with. The book forces you to look at all the well-known characters with a new eye. I always liked Duryodhan and Karna much better than the Pandavas and the book reinforced my idea. I declare Karna my favorite character in the story and join Draupadi to wonder what course it would have taken if he wasn't stopped from competing in her Swayamvar.

Characters that live on

2008-07-11T11:37:00.010-07:00

I picked up this book tag from La Vida Loca and I need to list my favorite fictional characters. I used to read almost exclusively fiction before I moved on to other stuff very recently. So this is in a way a trip down memory lane for me.

Mr. Darcy: Anyone who read Pride and Prejudice cannot help but fall in love with this man.
Sherlock Holmes: Its elementary my dear Watson.
For all you folks in London: really? there is no 221 B Baker Street?
Scout Finch: The little girl from Alabama is my hero anyday.
Gretel of Hansel and Gretel: I remember imagining myself as Gretel when my brothers had to study and I was left free to do whatever.
Samwise Gamgee: For the dependable friend he is. Honestly, he is much more a hero than Frodo Baggins.
The Common Man: He is you, he is me, he is every one of us. An Average Indian.
Calvin: I have to agree with LVL. He is much more than a kid. He sounds as philosophical as his namesake if not more. Need I say I believe in destiny?
Moushumi Mazoomdar: I found more to identify with and liked this character much better than that of Ashima Ganguli in Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake.
Rosie: RK Narayan's Guide, beautifully unfolds the story of this strong, independent dancer who overcomes every injustice done to her. Waheeda Rehman did nothing less in her portrayal of this character.
Laila: Of The Thousand Splendid Suns. Her beauty, her courage, her strength and her intelligence is just amazing.

I wish I could write more. But I cannot think of any other characters. So go on. Help me. Who are the characters you loved?

Of daughters, sisters and wives

2008-07-09T14:43:00.005-07:00

Pardon me for the cliche but my parents, I always believed, were traditional with a modern outlook. They sent me to an all-girls convent but did not mind that I was friends with boys in our neighborhood and hung out with my brothers' friends playing whatever you play when you are in school. They let me pick engineering that too Civil Engineering although they much rather preferred me joining the software bandwagon. For the most part I got to wear what I wanted to and got my way around most things. To top all of that off, they had no problems in me picking the person I wanted to spent the rest of my life with. Suddenly, after all these years, my mother said something yesterday which made me wonder what I mean to them as a daughter.

To give you a little background here, my brother who is two years older than I am is traveling to the US in a couple of months to take some licensing exams. He is not traveling on business where his employer will pay for his trip. He is funding this entire trip by himself and will be in the US for about 3-4 months to complete the exam and subsequent processes. Ever since we started discussing his trip, it was taken for granted that he would come stay with us and take the exam. Obviously!!! And then yesterday we were discussing the logistics of his trip, when my mother asked my brother to look for another place to stay. At first I wasn't sure what she meant so I had to prod a couple of times before she finally came out with it. Men from a respectable family do not stay in their married sister's and brother-in-law's house for an extended period of time it seems!! What???

Knowing for a fact that my mother does not spend the energy thinking about these kind of Uttam Dave type things, I asked her where it came from. She first denied that anyone helped her with these thoughts before admitting that it was one of her colleagues. My initial reaction was to yell, cry and threaten her that I would never talk to her if she ever entertained such thoughts. After sleeping over it for a day, I called her back to find out what exactly was bothering her and she says it is shameful on her, my father's and my brother's part to accept any kind of help from me, their married daughter. And secondly she is sure I am doing it against the husband's wishes and it will cause me problems with him. And of course she believes the parents-in-law would never approve of such a thing and will promptly disown me when they know my intentions.

It is not like I never discussed my brother's trip with the husband. In fact he was the one that brought up the subject of all the paperwork needed to be done for his travel and he of all has no problems with the whole idea. My parents-in-law are of the sweetest kind. Although I itch real bad to join one of those Bitch9-about-MIL discussion groups, she is sweet enough to leave me with nothing to bitch about. I did mention to them about the trip and they had no problem absolutely (I hope!). My brother who is the subject of the entire discussion has no problems because he gets along well with the husband and honestly, doesnt care. My father had no second thoughts about it either. So really, I think the problem is with people like my mother's colleague who I am guessing are the targets of Uttam Dave's advice and my mother who's thoughts are so easy to manipulate.

And me, well I am left thinking what I mean to my parents after all these years! Was I just the daughter that they spoiled rotten knowing fully well has to be given away to another family and never reclaimed? Have they lost all their rights on me that they cannot let me fulfill my tiniest of responsibilities towards my family? I wonder if this is a question of being traditional. Or if it just not being able to break away from what is expected or rather not expected of you by some moronic society. Either ways, I feel terribly disappointed for having to explain this to my mother!

P.S: When I read reactions to Dave's posts at Chandni's and Mad Momma's I thought maybe the advice is necessary for girls married into Ekta Kapoor kind of K Families. Ok please let me eat my words from their blogs. No, no woman should be given the kind of marital advice where she is asked to forget about her parents, her family and everything about her before she got hitched. Sorry, that doesnt work for me. My mother of all people should have known that!!!

P.P.S: Oh, today is my blog's first birthday. And am I glad I have this place to voice my shouts and murmurs! The activity here is not as much as I would have liked, but at least I get to have my monologues without any opposition so thats good. Happy Birthday Shouts and Murmurs!!

Is he listening?

2008-06-24T11:07:00.002-07:00

People's exhibit 1:

Me: Do you want to stop by at the Temple on the way to B Aunty's house?

Husband (with a genuinely confused expression) : But B aunty will serve Desi food. Why do you want to go to the temple?

People's exhibit 2:

Me: Do you want to stay at N's house after dinner tonight or drive back?

Husband: I don't mind either ways.

Me: I think we should drive back because we have a lot of things to do tomorrow and will be good to get a head start in the morning.

Husband: Right, I will check with N if we need to bring our own sleeping bags.

I rest my case.

Khuda ke liye /Aamir

2008-06-16T06:56:00.003-07:00

After reading a lot about Khuda ke Liye and Aamir, I finally got to watch these movies over the weekend. I write about both these movies in the same post because I couldn't help notice the similarity between the two, themes centered around Islam, lesser known actors, debutant directors and great music.

Khuda ke liye is the story of two musician brothers Mansoor and Sarmad and their British cousin Mary. After a brief introduction to the characters, the real story starts when Mary visits her cousins in Pakistan and Mansoor leaves to the US to study music. Since there are reviews and plot outlines everywhere on the web, I will stick to what I thought of the movie here. Shaan, who played Mansoor in the movie, Wikipedia tells me is a popular star in Pakistan. I am guessing his past experience came handy coz he has done an excellent job without at any point appearing to try too hard. He sounds convincing and absolutely lovable even when his tells his American girlfriend that his religion prohibits him from drinking liquor or that women cannot pay when a man is involved (I would have been up in arms against any other man who told me I cannot pay because I was a woman). Iman Ali, again a popular model in Pakistan, looks pretty and plays Mary without appearing too over the top. Apparently Shaan had sneered at Iman saying models cannot act (yeah, I follow Lollywood gossip too) but I am sure he will have to eat his words after this movie. Iman Ali and Shaan were the two actors that stood out for me in the entire cast. The excellent music is yet another reason for me to like Khuda Ke Liye. I am still struggling to pick a favorite between Tiluk Kamud and Bandeya Ho.

Aamir is about a doctor who returns to Bombay from UK to find himself involved a sequence of strange events. Without giving the plot away, lets just say the movie tracks the hours ensuing Aamir's return to Bombay. Rajeev Khandelwal, a first timer on the big screen, plays Aamir and carries the movie almost entirely on his shoulders that too effortlessly. Although the painstakingly slow scenes towards the end help create drama and give Khandelwal immense opportunity to perform, the movie could have done much better with some editing. Towards the ending, more often than not, the audience want the movie to end just so they could go home/go to bed or to do whatever they do after a movie ends. In stead, this film seems like it goes on forever. I am guessing the climax scene was shown in real time which could've definitely used some much needed chopping. What I like best about this movie is the transformation of the main character from your average guy to the man who takes charge all while displaying an entire range of emotions without appearing like the usual macho bollywood hero. The background score was great and Ya raham, my current favorite, is very addictive.

Both movies are likable because they come across as extremely real. No make-up, no gaudy outfits, no stopping in between for a duet in some glamorous location, no melodramatic dialogs, no item numbers, no sir, none of your bollywood stereotypes. These movies instead are armed with a strong story and an intelligent screenplay. Full points to debutant directors Shoaib Mansoor and Raj Kumar Gupta. Also there is good music in both movies but the songs don't distract you from the story. Its like a little respite from hectic storytelling through which you don't want to take a bathroom or ciggy break lest you miss something important.

The husband mentioned how Khuda ke liye is a bold movie to make especially in a country like Pakistan. Even Meetu of withoutgivingthemovieaway was of the same opinion. I fail to understand why. Despite touching upon issues like double standards, violence and abuse against women and racial/cultural prejudices of the west and conservatives in a religion, at no point does the movie speak ill of Islam. It does use the most popular of Islam preachings such as teetotalism, preventing marriages into other faiths etc but at no point does the movie come across as anti-islam. If anything, Naseeruddin Shah's character speaks in defence of the religion. The take home message from the movie according to me was that no religion preaches bad things. Its just the way the religious teachings are interpreted that makes people do good or bad things. And if anything, I was very surprised that a movie like Aamir got away without any trouble. Remember Bombay, Black Friday and many other movies that had a terror plot?

Overall, both movies are a must watch if you like movies that try to break away from the candy floss romance formula.

On an aside, while I love Wikipedia, its annoying that the Aamir movie page has entire scene-by-scene details including the climax. I noticed that I best enjoy a movie when I know absolutely nothing about it. The more reviews I read, the more my expectation of the movie rises.

Home Alone

2008-06-10T11:22:00.003-07:00

Staying alone at home while the husband was traveling for work, I have discovered

...that it is not that hard to eat alone at a restaurant. Granted it is a small eatery in a corner where you have to bus your own table. But with a book in hand, it is a piece of cake to order your food, wait for it to be ready and eat it, all without having the company of another soul.

...that it is really hard for me to survive without internet and TV. I need one of the two unless I am sleeping or in the bathroom.

...that watching 8 back to back episodes of Law and Order SVU scares you enough to not be able to go even to the bathroom when it is dark. There such creeps in this world I tell you.

...that I can make a sandwich complete with onions and tomatoes during TV show breaks. It sucks that they dont have breaks in between episodes anymore. Its always after an episode starts but thank god for title music and end credits.

...that you can survive 3days without any in-person human interaction and still manage to stay sane enough to write about it. I couldn't even catchup with people on the phone coz we ran out of minutes on our phones. Oh wait, does ordering food at the restaurant count?

...that a dinner of cereal and brownies is fun.

...that I cannot for my life figure out what Tharoor's point is in his new book the Elephant, the Tiger and the Cellphone. About 100 pages into the book and I see he uses his favorite metaphorical writing, talks bollywood, politics, families and rants about hindutva. Pardon me but I cannot understand where he is going with all that cliched writing.

On an aside: Tharoor writes that former first lady Mrs. Shankar Dayal Sharma was a big fan of Swabhimaan, one of India's first soaps. Apparently she made sure her entourage recorded every episode of the show to ensure that she did not miss even a single episode in the process of delivering her first-lady duties. I remember running home right after school to catch the show and had a big crush on Rohit Roy. I am dying to watch the show again and cannot find it anywhere online. Does anybody know where Mrs. Sharma lives now? Maybe I can borrow her tapes.

10 ka dum

2008-06-09T10:26:00.003-07:00

Chandni has called me bakra and tagged me to reveal 10 of my secrets. So here we go in no particular order.

I act like I am always in control in the kitchen. I believe recipes aren't meant to be taken too seriously. One quick glance at the recipe and I decide how I want to make it my style even if it spells disaster.
I obsess over my footwear. I need to wear shoes that are well co-ordinated with the rest of my outfit otherwise, I feel like everybody is staring at my shoes and shaking their heads in disapproval.
I never wanted to be a child and thought of myself as an adult. As far back as I can remember, I always thought I grew-up enough.Only when I look at myself back in time I realize how childish I was and how much growing up I still need to do.
I think being liberal is fashionable. Somehow being conservative seems so dull and boring.
I cannot win a spelling bee contest even to save my life. I am a terrible speller and can never be thankful enough to spell check!
For the longest time, I believed beauty and brains dont come together. I thought I was a rare exception until I met women who were both more beautiful and more intelligent than I was.
I have a constant fear of obesity. As a child, I remember reading an article about a woman who woke up in the morning and found herself heavier by some insane number of pounds. It haunts me to this day and thankfully keeps me away from most calorie bombs.
I am a hypochondriac.
I spend insane amounts of time window shopping on the internet. And nothing fancy or designer for me. I hangout at the safe Oldnavys and JCPs for the fear that I might fall in love with something I cannot afford.
I hate documents that are not justified. I cannot bring myself to read badly formatted articles either.

Phew!!! That wasnt too hard. Now comes the fun part. I demand to know 10 secrets from
Silvara
The Mad Momma
Good day Sunshine
Niyara
Blue Bike
Cacophoenix
and anyone who feels like confessing some of those secrets!

The Big Move

2008-06-09T09:24:00.005-07:00

It finally happened!! The husband and I finally moved in together. I took a break from school to move in with the husband hoping he would be done in school by the end of summer. Well it actually happened two weeks ago. But thats how long it took for me to complete moving, setting up the new place, cleaning up the old place, catching up on my Google Reader and finally moving my ass to write.

Living with the husband has been lots if fun so far. Its like playing Home Sweet Home except with real furniture and a real husband who does not go-to and return-from work in a flash. Deciding on the furnishings (mostly convincing the husband that my ideas are right), setting up the furniture and making the place live-able has been much more fun than I imagined. In the process, I realised how much I want our new home to look like my parents' place. Especially with little things like arranging fridge magnets, books and clothes the way my mother did it. Being the foodies we are, grocery shopping and visits to the local farmers market has been our favorite weekend activity. We have had plenty of cooking adventures and baking disasters. Our kitchen has been learning lots of new languages from around the world mostly with a 'spicy' accent. And booze is flowing freely than ever. The husband used to allow himself a drink only on weekends but now wine and beer have become everyday fair. We are trying to recycle as much as possible (yeah we finally got those reusable shopping bags) along with reducing our electricity consumption as much as possible. To bring on the summer spirit, we even have a few flowering plants, spinach, mint and tomatoes planted in pots.

When we decided on moving in together, we have agreed that the husband would take care of all the money matters while I run the show. But now I am getting a taste of how it is to be dependent on someone even if it is your significant other and I dont like it. Although it is very difficult for me to finish shopping and not take my wallet out to pay, I feel like I have the husband dependent on me as well. I know where most things in the house are and the husband often comes to me asking where to find something. This in some strange way gives me a sadistic pleasure. It is not like the husband cannot or will not find it without me. But just the thought that I make his life easier gives me that much needed boost.

In a nutshell, it has been a lot of fun to set up our own little nest and live in it together. Now all we have to do is finish school, find real jobs and buy a house for ourselves.

Manolos Martinis and Men

2008-05-31T10:00:00.006-07:00

Sex and the City is finally out! And did I love it!! The TV series is bigger and better, more fun, more drama and more style.

The movie picks up from where the series ended with a short introduction of all the characters for the uninitiated. Big is still "Carried", Miranda with Steve and Brady, Charlotte with Harry and Samantha moves to LA with Smith. The only new addition is Jennifer Hudson as Louise from St.Louis, Carrie's assistant and an adorable little girl (I dont know her name but I swear she is an angel) as Lily, Charlotte and Harry's adopted daughter. Everyone looking more beautiful and stylish, made the movie look glamorous and sexy. The runway shows, the jewelry auctions and nightlife give you a taste of true upscale New Yorker life.

Sarah Jessica Parker is the anchor for the show and carries the movie well with a little bit of drama, fun and lots of style (she even pulls off the pajamas look effortlessly!). Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis play their usual selves and do not have too much to do in the movie. Actually at times, I found Kristin Davis a little annoying and unintentionally funny. But this round definitely goes to Kim Cattrall. She truly rocks at 50 with her super sexy body and hilarious one-liners. Jennifer Hudson plays her part to perfection as the assistant Carrie always needed to put her life and apartment in order.

What I liked most about the movie was the familiarity, the comfort of knowing the lives of all the characters inside out. It was like meeting old friends who you lost touch with after college. The style and fashion in the movie whets your appetite for designer labels albeit an overdose of Louis Vuitton. The movie did get a little slow at times and could've been at least a good 5-10 minutes shorter. The opulence and money in the movie is a little too much to believe and larger than life for students like me. But on the other hand it feels like a dream come true to be surrounded by designer clothes, shoes and furniture.

Overall a great movie for a girls nightout or a date. Although Roger Friedman of FoxNews says, "Straight guys are likely only to see this film under pain of death from their significant others". It was interesting to notice that most of the viewers were girls or couples. Yeah, so the movie is not for everyone. Not for you if you are cynical and allergic to mush!

P.S. Thanks a bunch to the husband for being a sport and watching the movie with me without appearing like he was pained to death.

My shade of green

2008-05-15T12:35:00.003-07:00

It seems like green is the newest color to be seen in! How else do you explain green you-name-it? Everything and everyone wants to go green while I am still stuck trying to figure out what green is.

Now as I understand, going green means sustainability and eco-friendliness. The green revolution started with bio-fuels, using cloth diapers instead of disposables, paper bags instead of plastic grocery bags, so on and so forth. We all saw what happened with the whole bio-fuels thing. I already wrote once about cloth vs disposable diapers. I fail to understand how using paper bags is sustainable compared to plastic ones. Arent the same people also advocating less printing to save paper? How safe really are the white light bulbs? Doesnt the mercury in those bulbs effect us in anyway? The more I read about green revolution, the more it seems like a staged drama. While sounding cynical, I feel like there is really nothing we could do to either damage or save the planet.

Cynicism apart, what happened to the good old way of plain reducing and reusing? Growing up in a developing country like India, it seems like we followed a environmentally sustainable lifestyle without even realizing. There was no wasting of water because of its scarcity. Everyone in the family had a rationed quota of one bucketful of water for bath every morning. During the summer we could use more water if we did not mind pumping it out of the bore well ourselves. Horlicks bottles were washed and reused to store groceries in the kitchen. Newspapers were reused to serve afternoon snack, to line shelves and to wrap sundry grocery items. Even our garbage was rummaged through to recover all the recyclables and reusable.

To make things simple, may be we should just stick to simplest things like turning lights off when not in the room, trying reduce the amount of garbage we generate, reusing as many things as we can. In essence, to me green revolution means reducing my footprint on the planet as much as possible instead of driving my car around with a "Go Green" sticker on it.

Kind words such as these.....

2008-05-14T08:28:00.003-07:00

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa

It has been an overwhelming week for me. I have been written about in really nice words and I am left wondering if I am truly worth all of them. The graphics specialist in my ex-research group figured I would not come back to the lab and wrote this to me.

I just want to say that I'm really going to miss you! I know this is not always the most pleasant working environment, but I sincerely feel that you brought a measure of lightness to the lab. The atmosphere can get so heavy and serious at times - your bright smile and a sense of humor have always been a welcome presence.

At the end of the semester as I turned in my final paper and course evaluation, the professor wrote in saying,

.......you are headed for the best grade in the class. I'd be happy to write a recommendation for you at any future time -- you have an excellent grasp of the science and logic of risk assessment. and made many excellent comments in class.

Really? It feels amazing to read such niceties about yourself. But what I really wonder what makes them say these things? Although these are the people I consider good friends and/or great colleagues and I truly admire, I cringed to write nice things when replying. I was convinced they would interpret it as buttering up on my part. In fact, I rarely say nice things to people. Not just people that I meet at work, but even parents or even siblings. I never remember telling my parents how grateful I am for everything they have been to me or how much I love my brothers and how much I look up to them as my heroes. Never have I ever told my best friends what their friendship meant to me.

When I first started this post, I thought I will write nice things about people that matter to me but I now I changed my mind. Although I admit I rarely say nice things, it has been very hard to come around actually saying those things. For now, like they say, the best words are those that are left unsaid. I know I have a lot of growing up to do.

Ab Tak Chappan

2008-05-11T10:30:00.003-07:00

I will rate this movie as one the best I have seen yet and recommend it to anyone who with interest in movies related to underworld, cops or even Ram Gopal Varma (he appears to be the go-to guy for all first time directors with stories related to the underworld)

The movie allegedly inspired by real-life encounter specialist Daya Nayak, is Shimit Amin's (of Chak De India) directorial debut. A very realistic movie not just because of natural sounds and dialogs but also for the lack of clear black and white characters. As it happens often in real life, all the characters are justified purely by the circumstances encountered without assigning strict good-cop, bad-cop tags.

Nana Patekar is his usual best with straight faced portrayal of an encounter specialist in the Mumbai Crime Branch. Never an extra word, never too dramatic or emotional, he carries the movie almost entirely on his shoulders. He talks about a murder he was ordered to commit by higher ups in the same breath as describing how after that, had a shower and ate drumstick sambar.

The encounter team is portrayed very well complete with jealousies and competitiveness. Despite being employed in the Mumbai Crime Branch, none of the characters preach patriotism or deliver heavy duty dialogs about being responsible citizens. Although it appears that we get to see everyday happenings in the characters' life, the movie has a superb pace thanks to a strict story and screenplay. Attention to subtle details like Revathi's character being a tamilian and how their child refers to his parents as Amma and Appa, how Revathi enquires Hrishita Bhatt about her live-in relationship etc are important in giving you insight into the characters's life without insulting your intelligence with spoon-fed details.

The only loop hole I found in the movie is that it fails to explain why Nana Patekar believes his informer when he calls to give him Feroz's whereabouts. I do not want to give out the movie's most important twist, but it appears that if Nana Patekar knew what he knew, he would have every reason to believe that the informer was lying and that it was a plot to get him. Oh well, a brilliant movie like this does deserves some slack.

On an aside, it is interesting that it takes a super succesful movie like Chak De India for us to sit up and take notice of the director's brilliant debut. On the same note, I wish Ram Gopal Varma sticks with the underworld genre which he does best instead of trying his hand at remaking classics.

Dheemi Dheemi

2008-05-11T10:10:00.003-07:00

My pet peeve against the husband is that he is not romantic enough. He is the kind that debates practicality over instinct and romance. So we end up getting flowers only on special occasions, practical gifts like humidifiers and pain relieving heating pads. But the other day, he totally swept me off my feet! No really, practically off my feet and gave me a ride home on his bicycle with me sitting on the front rim and him pedaling it. :) He even sang Dheemi Dheemi probably leaving me hints after reading my favorite songs post. ^_^

I cannot find the video where Rahul Khanna and Nandita Das ride the bike together so here is the song.

PS: The entire experience was complete with the mandatory dirty joke when he asked if I was sure I was sitting on the bike's front rim or his unmentionable :)

Dear Miss. Manners

2008-05-01T13:30:00.005-07:00

Dear Miss. Manners

I keep getting emails from my friends about how Bill Gates has decided to distribute all of his fortune among Internet Explorer and AOL users and how many people have made millions of dollars just by sending the information out to their friends. I wonder why everybody is actually working their asses off when there is so much money waiting to be earned so easily, but lets not get off the track. Usually, these emails used to be descriptions from all the lucky people who made five to six figured dollar amounts and who are more than eager to share the information and the good luck among their friends, their friends and their friends. But the email I received today was one step ahead and actually contained snapshots of bank statements very clearly stating the money transferred to all the lucky people by Microsoft. Here are a few snapshots if you dont believe me.

Now when I see forwarded emails about the wonders of the world, 3-d illusion paintings etc, I know that a polite reply to the sender is as simple as "Wow! really cool". Also, when I see the "I want to share my fortune with you" emails from royalty in never-heard-of-country, I know I have to immediately reply with my contact and passport details to make myself available for the fortune-sharing. But I must say, in the case of Microsoft sharing its fortune and the if-you-dont-forward-you-will-have-bad-luck-for-7-years emails, I am not sure what to do. Is it polite to include the sender among the people I would be forwarding the email to? Will I still get the good luck if I forward the email to the sender 5 times instead of sending it to 5 different people? Will it bring 5 times the good luck to the sender? Will Bill Gates identify me as one the ardent users of Internet explorer if I forward all these emails to my sender from Mozilla Firefox?

Please Miss. Manners, I really want to share a part of Bill Gates' fortune but these questions are eating me away. I want to forward as many forwards as I can but I also want to make sure I do it in the right way without hurting the sender. Could you please let me know the do's and donts of this forwarding "business"? Please please please help me!!

Sincerely,
Waiting To get Lucky

Kabhi Geet Aisa Gaaya Karo.......

2008-04-29T18:15:00.007-07:00

The sexy Silvara tagged me with my first. I remember when we were kids, we always used to make fun of how my dad's music and movie collection time-froze in the '70s. After doing this tag, I realized music wise, I am still stuck in last century. Not that I am complaining!

Rules of the tag: Various situations are given. You have to come up with a song ( or a couple) that aptly describe those situations in YOUR life.

Opening credits: Chale Jaise Hawayein from Main Hoon Na. I really like the video of this song and wouldnt mind making an entrance dancing like that :)

Waking up: Nindiya se jaagi bahar form Hero. Great music and good lyrics make it one of my favorites along with all other songs in the movie.

Average day: Aa ne wala pal from Golmaal. Average days come and average days go.

First date: Aati Kya Khandala from Ghulam. I like this song solely for Aamir Khan.

Falling in love: Jaan-e-man Jaan-e-man Tere Do Nayan from Choti si Asha and Mitwa from KANK.

Love Scene: Dheemi Dheemi from 1947: Earth. I would have actually loved this song to be couple with the love-making scene in the movie instead of Yeh jo Zindagi hai.

Fight Scene: Khambe jaisi khadi hai from Dil. This is really lame, but I could not think of any other song for a fight scene. Aamir Khan and Madhuri are sort of fighting in this song.

Breaking up: O Sathi Re from Muqaddar Ka Sikandar and Tanhayee from Dil Chahta Hai. Both very different sounding songs conveying the same lonely feeling in totally different ways.

Getting back together: Tere bina jiya jaaye na and Scientist by Coldplay.

Life’s ok: Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.

Mental Breakdown: I still havent found what I'm looking for by U2 I know this song is not really relevant here but I heart Bono in this song and it gives me the jitters every time I listen to it.

Driving: The super cliched Endrendrum from Alaipayuthe and Dont Matter by Akon. I heard this song for the first time on a bus during our honeymoon in the Caribbean and fell in love with Akon ever since!

Learning a lesson: Tujhse Naraz Nahi Zindagi from Masoom.

Deep thought: I assume this meant songs with profound meaning. Rabbi Shergill's Bulla ki Jaana and Junoon's Khudi ko kar.

Flashback: Purani Jeans by Ali Haider. The lyrics actually has A+R somewhere and the husband and I still blush every time it comes up ^_^ Video Killed the radio star by Buggles for the retro feel.

Partying: Low Low Low by Flo-Rida and Please dont stop the music by Rihana

Happy Dance: Dhagala Lagli Kala Aapparently this song has another not-so-innocuous meaning which I am determined to find out.

Regretting: Socha nahi tha from Kaante

Death Scene: Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan from Mera Naam Joker.

Closing Credits: Kawa Kawa by Sukhwinder Singh in Monsoon Wedding. Actually the death scene songs comes pretty close in this category as well but I definitely like movies with happy endings and fun music playing in the background when the credits roll.

Whew, that was a tough tag! Now that I am done, I tag anyone who wants to take this up. Feel free to do the tag and leave a link to it for me to read.

Weekend in the Seventies

2008-04-13T08:02:00.009-07:00

Born in the eighties (I know, I am ashamed of it too), I missed out on the swinging seventies. After Farhan Akhtar's Don: The Chase begins again was released, I wanted to see the original Don to be able to participate in the whole comparison debate. While looking up the movie on IMDB and Wikipedia, I found out about the alleged affair between Amitabh Bachchan and Rekha and Silsila which was based on it. One thing led to another and I ended up watching Don, Silsila, Kabhi Kabhi and Abhimaan in quick succession. Since the movies have been reviewed and beaten to death, I will just write quick notes on what I felt while watching the movies.

Once and for all, I liked Farhan Akhtar's Don much better. May be because I did not see the original movie first or even because I identify SRK, Priyanka Chopra and such more than Zeenie, Pran and Iftekhar. I got the feeling throughout that Farhan Akhtar's version was totally slick and of course I loved the climax much better. The older Don was good too. Zeenie was hot and Helen rocked! Yeh mera dil and Khaike pan banaraswala were priceless in the older version.

I could not stop comparing Silsila, Abhimaan and Kabhi Kabhi because of the similar cast. Silsila and Kabhi Kabhi both directed by Yash Chopra, had that unmistakable PnJabi flavor: the Mehras, the Khannas, the Kapoors and the elaborate punjabi weddings. Both movies had wealthy protagonists and palatial mansions. Both movies had snow-covered locales and the actors in the best of their winter wear. I don't understand Amitabh Bachchan's obsession with closed neck outfits, he was more often than not dressed in Bandh Galas. Turtle necks and suits. Oh actually I do prefer him dressed that way after seeing him and Shashi Kapoor go topless under the shower in Silsila. That was really gross to watch!!

I hated the way they shaped Jaya Bachchan's character and I am surprised that she agreed to play a role like that. She plays the role of a meek woman who cajoles AB to marry her saying, "Amit, mera kya hoga? Kaun mujhe sahara dega? Kaun mujh se shaadi karega? Kya tum mein mujh se shaadi karne ki himmat hai?". I find it very irritating that even when she realizes that her marriage is on the rocks, all she has to say is "mera kya hoga!" Seriously, in real life if I find out that my husband got back together with his ex-flame and is leaving me for her, I would rather walk out of the mess with my dignity in place rather than weeping about how I am going to be alone all over again. But again thats just me. Gathering from the grapevine that the movie was based on their real life, is that how she blackmailed AB to stay married to her when he allegedly had an affair with Rekha? Another thing I did not like is that the movie fails to show what happens to Rekha's character in the end. We are never told if she wanted to go back to Sanjeev Kumar or what. So according to the movie, its always upto to the man to decide if and when he wants to have an affair and when he wants to return to his dharampatni.

As far as I can remember, Kabhi Kabhi is one of the very few older movies that had an English tag line. The movie is actually titled, 'Kabhi Kabhi: Love if Life". I thought the movie was way ahead of its time in many other ways as well. Neetu Singh in shorts and bikinis, Neetu Singh and Rishi Kapoor going bowling etc (may be I grew up in a village but I did not know anything about bowling until I went to college). I am not sure if it is intentional but the movie tries to portray generation gap as well. AB and Rakhi are in love with each other but they don't even consider letting their parents know about their relationship for the fear of hurting them. Whereas, Rishi Kapoor does not hichkichao-fy even for a minute to declare to his parents that he is in love. Also the movie had glimpses of where Suraj Bharjathya could've gathered inspiration for Maine Pyaar Kiya. The scenes in which Rishi Kapoor works on AB's construction site to stay close to Neetu Singh reminded me too much of Salman Khan in MPK. Despite the multi-star cast, Kabhi Kabhi was Neetu Singh and Rishi Kapoor's movie all the way. They managed to look beautiful, young and refreshingly real.

Abhimaan had a completely different look and feel to it compared to Silsila and Kabhi Kabhi. It w was suprisingly short (2 hr 3 min) and had crisp editing. There was very little melodrama involved despite the dramatic plot. JB looked super beautiful and her performance won full points for me. Although most of the twists and turns were predictable, the movie sustained my interest for two hours and that is what I call a good cinema. I hear they are planning to remake Abhimaan with Mr and Mrs Bachchan jr, because like in the movie, Aishwarya is more successful than her husband right now. That sure provides ample scope for us to compare the two movies and discuss the Bachchan family at length but then, do we really want the classic to be remade? Do we want it remade with Aishwarya and Abhishek? Don't we all remember what happened with Umrao Jaan?

All the movies had superb music and excellent lyrics. Despite the punjabi look Silsila and Kabhi Kabhi, am I glad there were no Kudis Mundas and Mahiyas in the lyrics!! Overall, the movies completely deserve the classic-status that they achieved and are definitely worth a watch especially if you like to experience the movies your parents watched when they were young.

To be or not to be?

2008-04-12T14:11:00.004-07:00

To do or not do? To stay or leave?
How do you make a decision? How do you choose especially when you know the decision might come back to bite you in the future? How do you do it?

I have been trying for about 3 months now to make an important career-related decision which influence my personal life as well. I don't feel like revealing complete details here so lets just say I can either do nothing and live with status quo or choose to grab a new opportunity that came my way. This new opportunity looks like a better option but is short-term and risky while status quo is safe yet frustrating. Also, who knows what price I will have to pay for the change!

It looks like I am very close to making a decision yet I feel terribly jittery. I doubt my rationale and try to talk myself into accepting things as they are. So this is essentially my monologue (I fell in love with this word and have been dying to use it) and sort of my justification for choosing what I chose.

Decision theories and decision analyses say the simplest way to make a decision is to attach a numerical value to each of the expected outcomes and pick the outcome that has the best value. While the algebra involved is simple, how do you attach a numerical value to your outcomes? How do you evaluate the joy of staying close to loved ones? What is the value of the fear of loosing your independence and self-respect? What is the price of knowing that all your friends and family disapprove of your decision? What is the cost of abandoning your safety net and venturing into an unknown? I have been able to attach value to the monetary gains/losses (obviously), but everything else is just driving me crazy. I wish I could hire a consultant who would help me make a "decision with clairvoyance". (I have been learning decision theory in class and its fun to use the jargon here)

Every time I had to pick between conflicting choices, I would think about how I would feel about each of my choice 10 years later. That really helped me look at the bigger picture and make a decision that I will not regret. In this case, I don't know what the bigger picture is. No wait, I know what the bigger picture is. But my idea of it seems very incongruous with the popular belief. My family is appalled at my simple needs and concludes I am some kind of an anti-feminist. (Well, I might not be the bra burning kind, but I do believe in equality and respect)

Why is it anti-feminist to choose to have a cosy little home against making crazy money? Why is it important for us to have a work-life, personal-life and other such segregated lives without having the time to enjoy any of them? When is it a good time for us to take a step back, figure out where you are actually headed? For me, it is right now. I cannot continue like this before realizing it has already been too late.

I know what I will regret the most 10 years from now. I will miss not having a lovely little home, not having warm food on the dinner table and of course not having lovely people who long to come back home and share the food with me. I will miss not having taken vacations, not spending time with loved ones and not being there when they need me the most. I dont mind the luxury of having money but I definitely don't aspire to have disposable cash enough to buy me a Birkin.

Ok there you go, I have made my decision. I will choose the opportunity that came my way. If it turns out to be good, excellent! If it turns out to be a bad choice, I will have something to fill in my regret column. I have an important meeting on Monday and am hoping I will walk out of the meeting more confident of my decision. Now wish me luck and go enjoy the lovely Spring evening.

Weekend in the Big Easy

2008-04-04T12:05:00.010-07:00

A weekend in New Orleans was full of activity, fun and totally worth all the hype! Although most part of the city has been rebuilt, it was interesting how everyone talks about before and after Katrina.

Aside: Its funny I was having a conversation about how the husband refuses to share pictures of vacations with family and friends and my brother says, "No self-respecting male would want to go back and email pictures to half of this world as if he has conquered it all". Really?!!? Is it a girly thing to share pictures?

Went on a tour on this tiny family-owned swamp about 30 mins away form New Orleans. It was a quiet tour and we got to see loads of gators, a few turtles and a couple of herons. The coolest part was when one if the gators let the tour guide pet him while feeding on Marsh mellows. He also had a restrained baby gator on the boat and let us touch it (er I meant everyone else including a 6 year old. I am too chicken to be any where near creepy crawlies)

Harbor Cruise took us around the waterfront to show a little before and and after effects of Katrina. They also let us take a look at the engine room and the paddle wheel which was really cool. Oh and they sell really strong alcohol on-board *wink*.

I guess for everyone that visits New Orleans, Cafe DuMonde stall on French Street and Gumbo Shop, French Market and Jax Brewery are must go places and are actually pretty fun. We were there for the St.Patrick's day parade as well and did take that mandatory picture with the leprechaun.

Spending a quite afternoon on a beautiful beach in Biloxi, dinner at a cozy little restaurant, getting drunk on Bourbon Street and watching girls flash to get Mardi Gras beads was what we did in the rest of thr trip. Boring..I know I know.

Stray? Or Great?

2008-04-03T13:00:00.002-07:00

While reading "A Suitable Boy", I looked up Vikram Seth out of curiosity and came across this poem.

Some men like Jack and some like Jill; I'm glad I like them both but still; I wonder if this freewheeling; Really is an enlightened thing,; Or is its greater scope a sign; Of deviance from some party line?; In the strict ranks of Gay and Straight; What is my status: Stray? Or Great?

All the ratta marofy-ing that we did in school made me hate poetry for not remembering those four-liners or eight-liners or whatever well enough to parrot them for the teacher. But this little poem here did the trick for me. I like it for its simple words and a deeper meaning. Besides, I looked up the poem because I liked the way he wrote and I was not forced to learn the poem by-heart and recite it in class. I did read his "Equal Music" a couple of years ago and predictably, I skipped all the poems. I probably will go back and read the book again to see if this new found interest in poetry is here to stay.

A Fresh Start

2008-03-31T15:06:00.007-07:00

Inspired by Broom, I have gathered all the momentum I ever had and I am going to make this happen. Yes! I will start working out and shed all those pounds I "found" hibernating in the winter. I plan go to the gym at least thrice a week. Two sessions of cardio and one session of muscle building. Specifically, here is what I want to do with myself

Current weight: 125 lbs (Yeah, I cant believe I gained so much weight over the winter)
Target weight: 110 lbs
To loose: 15 lbs

If you visit my blog and read this post, please make sure to ask me if I worked out and where I am with my target. Oh btw this is not an April fools prank (I hope!)

Weekend Movie Marathon

2008-03-29T08:19:00.006-07:00

Is there a better way to spend a cold weekend than watching movies? Yes, watching Good movies! I spent entire last weekend in a couch watching 4 movies and an entire season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Here are some quick notes to make sure I remember all the stuff I watched.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 5: With the plethora of reviews and blogs dedicated to this popular sitcom, I will write no more. It suffices to say that I like the series enough to spend a Friday evening watching an entire season in one go.

4 Months 3 Weeks and 2 Days: This movie started off well and like all the other reviews I read, threatened to be pretty graphic. It is the story of two young women in Romania, one of whom is pregnant and the other helps her through an illegal abortion. The first part of the movie was gripping with its very real scenes and extremely graphic dialogues. The movie builds up pretty well until the abortion actually happens. Then the movie is just left to hang in the air. For all of us who grew up watching masala movies with twist after twist, this one is just disappointing in the second half. Nothing really happens in the second half of the movie and the ending is a surprise because the movie ends when you really are anticipating something dramatic to happen. The extremely long shots were good initially, but they get boring after a point. The dialogue between the two girls and the man who performs the abortion, the scene where Otilia has dinner with her boyfriend's family are examples of how real movies can get. Overall an average movie especially for me because, if I am putting in an extra effort to pay careful attention to the sub-titles, then the movie better be real good.

The Whole Nine Yards: This movie is one of my favorite comedies and I enjoy watching it any number of times. Slick, funny, good plot and great one-liners make this movie complete entertainer. I am really surprised this movie has only a 6.6 rating on IMDB. But I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who likes the F.R.I.E.N.D-ly (sorry for the cliche) and nervous Matthew Perry.

Miss. Pettigrew Lives for a Day: We went to see this movie because of flopped plan to attend a Middle-eastern song and dance concert. One of those movies that you don't mind watching but complain about after you walk out of the cinemas. Its a typical bollywood-style movie with a young aspiring starlet who's life is in a mess with three men she is involved with for various reasons. Then walks-in Miss. Pettigrew, the street urchin posing as a social secretary, who not only sets the startlet's life in order in one day, but also manages to find love in a famous lingerie designer. Although his love is questionable considering they meet just for a few hours and that he finds designing the heel of a man's sock more difficult than a bra (Seriously!!?!). You can watch this movie if you have nothing better to do (like us) and want to show solidarity to a desi (that too a Gult) director in Hollywood.

Race: What were they thinking when they made this movie? The movie has every possible plot you can think of: murder, wife/partner-swapping, insincere cops, cheating secretaries, punar-janam and you-name-it. And honestly, the many twists and turns do nothing for the movie except making it an unintentional comedy. At no point is the movie believable and added to that insults your intelligence by elaborate spoon-feeding. People that are supposed to die always miraculously re-surface and people that are supposed to live, die or thats what the movie claims. I will not be surprised if a sequel comes out with all the people dead in this part re-surface with fresh vengeance. Please dont watch this movie unless you left your brain at home and enjoy the cheap thrills of watching scantily clad Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif and Sameera Reddy.

To get over the trauma of watching mostly bad movies, I had to go back and watch the classic Shiva. On that note, I think RGV needs to take a break, think hard and come up with another brilliant movie like this one instead of recycling movies.

Switch it Off

2008-03-11T18:50:00.005-07:00

There has been a recent campaign doing rounds about switching off all electrical appliances for an hour on a certain day as part of conserving energy. Now it is a great idea for us to completely switch off all lights and electrical appliances for an hour and I have no doubts what-so-ever about how much energy can be saved in the process. There have been a lot of blog posts advocating this and spreading the word and a few have even taken it a step further to suggest interesting activities while we completely switch off.

The Mad Momma had one such post and says

Take a walk in the park, go for a drive (which once in a while is, I assure you, better than taking the car to work when you can take the metro, not carpooling and using it to cross the road to the grocery store!!) light up some candles on the terrace/balcony.

Now I fail to understand how driving a car is better than using electricity?

About 65% of electricity in India is generated from coal-fired power plants. Power plant emissions are known sources of Oxides of Nitrogen which have a direct consequence on ambient Ozone levels. Motor vehicles are major sources of known carcinogens like Benzene. Between Benzene and Ozone, I would rather have Ozone in the air than Benzene, exposure to which can be avoided by staying indoors during the peak Ozone levels. Benzene being non-reactive stays in the atmosphere much longer than Ozone. I am not qualified to and will not compare the health effects of exposure to Benzene vs Ozone. But as a lay person, to me a carcinogen seems deadlier than a chemical that has pulmonary effects which may or may not be short term.

My entire logic of comparing emissions is to prove my point that driving your car when you turned every electrical appliance off at home is not going to help your cause in any way!!. Even if my understanding of emissions was wrong, isnt it just simple cost-benefit analysis that you dont really save a lot when you switch off one thing and switch on another? Besides, which car checks to see if you are on a joy ride with your family or you are driving to the grocery store and adjusts its emissions accordingly!!?

I have a similar problem with all the environmentalists advocating the use of cloth diapers versus disposable diapers. How 'green' are the cloth diapers really? What about all the hot water you use to wash them? What about all the extra detergent used? What about the additional Phosphorus loadings on your waste water system from the fecal matter? When you think about it, may be disposable diapers are better.

The other problem I had with this post is not just the fact that it advocates a cause without checking facts but the fact that an alternate point of view is angrily squished. It is okay to have a strong opinion but it is important for us to stay open to an alternate opinion and adjust our beliefs as and when new information is made available. This Bayesian approach is the fundamental step in decision making!! Again, while it is great that more and more people are picking up environmental consciousness, it is also important for us to verify facts from myths. Especially so if you are advocating something to public even if it is on your private domain!!

PS: Sorry Mad momma, but I have no choice. You ran out of your generosity before I could finish all what I had to say!!

Books

2008-03-11T13:06:00.002-07:00

I can never resist the urge to discuss my taste in books and voluntarily picked up this tag from Good day sunshine.

A book that made you laugh: Cannot think of anything specific but probably most cartoon strips qualify. While I am at it, PhD Comics is actually depressing...dont ask me why!

A book that made you cry: I think it was Black beauty by Anna Sewell, when I was a child

A book that scared you: None, I dont read horror.

A book that disgusted you: Not the whole book but parts of 'How Doctors Think' by Jerome Groopman

A book you loved in elementary school: We used to have the entire Walt Disney collection at home and was my favorite as a kid.

A book you loved in middle/junior high school: I only read Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew to be cool alongside my brothers.

A book you loved in high School: I got hooked on to Sherlock Holmes in high school.

A book you loved in college: Runaway Jury by John Grisham.

A book that challenged your identity: Cant think of a book that did so much to me.

A series you love: Lord of the Rings including The Hobbit

Horror: I dont read horror.

Science fiction: The closest I got to Science Fiction was reading Robin Cook.

Your favourite fantasy: Rajaji's Mahabharata, if it qualifies.

Your favourite mystery: Most of Sherlock Holmes'. Hound of Baskervilles was my favorite.

Your favourite biography: Havent read too many but got completely moved after reading Ayaan Hirsi Ali's Infidel.

Your favourite “Coming of age” book: To kill a mocking bird by Harper Lee

Your favourite classic: A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Your favourite romance book: Love story by Erich Segal.

The year that was!!

2007-12-31T08:59:00.001-08:00

As I turn a year older, I had to stop and look at the year that was. I couldnt resist this post especially after such an eventful year. If no one else wants to read, I am going to read this to my grandchildren after 30 years to show how much fun I was!

Get Married: Though I missed my get-married-by-25 deadline by two weeks, I had a blast of a wedding. True to what they say, it was the best events of my life, an elaborate 4 day wedding (including 2 receptions). It was more fun because, I walked into my own wedding like a guest without having a thing to do. In-laws and Out-Laws?? (parents) were the ones that spent 3 months figuring out the venue, menu and such like.

Travel to a new country: With the wedding came a honeymoon. Where do you go if you like traveling, beaches, tropical climate and cricket? Thats it, The Caribbean it was for us. (Actually, Ravi once secretly admitted that he proposed to me when he realized he could go to the Caribbean for a honeymoon) White sand beaches, beautiful sunsets, world cup cricket (albeit India's loss), rum, food, people, everything was amazing. One of the best vacations we ever had.

Sky Dive: I always thought of myself as someone that was very indoorsy. I could not belive myself when I signed up me and Ravi for Sky diving . Not once did I regret the decision. Its awesome fun when you are scared to death and survive through it. Trust me nothing beats the adrenalin pump you get when you jump out the plane.

Start a blog: Sky diving was so much fun, I had to write about it and thats how my blog was born.

Side Effects of Sky Diving!!

2007-07-09T14:24:00.002-07:00

I decided I was going to start my blog with the greatest achievement in my life so far! Ever since we made a reservation for Sky Diving (oh yeah!!), I had been thinking of events that would make for an interesting post. I was a little disappointed in the end when I couldn't come up with anything even after we finished the jump and drove back home. But then, I did come up with something to write about (obviously, why else would you be reading this?)

For me, the real experience of skydiving started sinking in the day after. Its a little more than 48 hours since my first skydive and here are the major side effects I have noticed:

1. I have been dreaming about planes, jumping off heights etc (very fuzzy and I vaguely remember) all night. My work involves usage of terms like 'Exposure', 'Risk' etc. I dreamt that my adviser decided to work on the risk involved in jumping off heights and then made a volunteer from the lab jump off a high-rise as part of the experiment.

2. At the slightest hint of a plane sound, I become alert as if I have to jump off that plane.

3. Have been showing the video to every person that might be even remotely interested in knowing that I JUMPED!!

4. Of course, have told everyone I met since I made my reservation for skydiving, about it.

5. Trying to remember my feelings at every second of the jump and relaying it to Ravi real-time.

6. Have been watching Ravi's and my skydiving video once every hour and re-living the thrill.

Its an experience I never want to forget and I very strongly recommend to every person even remotely out of their mind! You can watch our videos and get inspired!